Netanyahu died on March 8th in a missile strike.
A week later he is standing in a cafe.
“Hello my friends, here I am alive and well. I have all five fingers on each hand and am enjoying a nice cup of coffee.”
He had to say that as per his last video where the rough quality convinced people he had an extra finger on one hand. In this modern world where everyone is chronically online and generative ai videos are being created en masse, it is a surprisingly rational conclusion to come to.
He picks up a coffee filled to the brim and moves it closer to his face to simulate the act of drinking it. As he pulls it away, it is still full and it refuses to spill out from the top.
The foamy moustache is pencil thin and quickly disappears. No act of licking the foam off with his tongue, just a cold dead stare into camera. He sticks his hand in his pocket which forms around it.
“After all it’s a beautiful day here in Jerusalem. It’s a beautiful day to spread American freedom to Iran.”
Israel and USA started the war by bombing an all girls school. Over 160 children dead.
The next day he stands at a podium, two cones designed to look like the Israel flag behind him, the curtain indicates it’s surprisingly windy in the basement of the Prime Minister’s office.
“I have all 5 fingers on both hands. As you can see for yourselves I am alive,” he starts. Awfully suspicious way to introduce yourself if you have to do it again. The ring on his finger disappears with ease. He then begins to talk about how he is liberating the people of Iran from the tyrannical regime.
The IDF has bombed nothing but schools and hospitals since the start of this war. In return Tel Aviv has been bombed heavily and the iron dome ceases to operate. But he still takes the time to go sight seeing with the locals, when they need his leadership the most. He ensures Israelis are safe, but a large amount of settlers, now without a home to live in, have been struggling to evacuate.
“Wow what a view!” He says standing at an overlook, the wrinkles escape his face, “It kind of reminds me how good we have it over here. This great Israel, some would say it’s becoming even greater. It’s the safest place to be for all Jews, Christians as well, but we all know this land belongs to the Jewish people. It was in the bible.”
Israel bombed and took control of the southern part of Lebanon insisting that the residents were not allowed back. They needed to keep that territory and the excuse for their actions was Hezbollah. They found Israeli military weapons in average Lebanese homes, even Israeli president Isaac Herzog’s personal copy of “Mein Kampf” (currently on sale at Amazon.com) was found just hanging out like a hidden object game.
The same flawless strategy they’ve been doing to Palestine for the past two years, they are now attempting to do to the rest of the middle east.
The next video was completely plain, from the top of the head to the shoulders. The video team was working hard to make sure there was no evidence of generative ai going on, so that meant leaving the hands out of the frame.
This video was sponsored by BetterHelp.
“I am aware that families are posting unboxing videos of their loved ones online. But I am here today to tell you that there is a false claim that Israel has something to do with it. No, Israel is not involved. We did not start this war, we are not attacking innocent civilians, just terrorist and would-be terrorists. Insisting otherwise is antisemitic and America, the Christian nation, should not stand for that.”
Semitic people are those that are descendants of languages from ancient southwestern Asia, to be anti-semitic only refers to hostility towards Jews. The hostility in question becomes more broad, as Zionists almost daily, update the terms of what makes something anti-semitic. They do not like the play about Roald Dahl.
The USA/Israel super team, went on to bomb oil refineries in Tehran and Alborz. Black rain filled the skies, putting the health of the people they want to “free” at risk. A devastating attack that will do lasting damage to the planet for years to come.
“You know, we’ve been conducting our annual poll online recently about who would win in a fight, and a surprising amount of you claim that Jesus would win a against Ghengis Khan. I have to tell you that Jesus was a little Palestinian bitch and there’s no way that guy would ever beat Ghengis Khan in a fight. You’re crazy! Look, evil will prevail in this war, there’s no way around it. We’re gonna win.”
When the government’s video team asked ChatGPT to write a speech like Netanyahu, that’s what came up and nobody bothered to question it because it probably sounded right.
Netanyahu was supposed to speak at a CPAC event in Hungary, the same place he would claim is the next biggest threat to the world after Iran. Due to food poisoning though, his son went in his place.
The next day Iran bombed near Israel’s secret nuclear facility. They are the only territory in the Middle East allowed to have one, but no one is allowed to know this open secret.
The cost of bombing such facilities is the casualties of civilian homes. They seem to design a lot of their infrastructure around using their own people as human shields. Evidence suggests as much in his newest video which despite being sick, Netanyahu had zero problem showing up for.
“How can they do something like this?” He shouts with scripted rage, “This is a war crime because people live here! Do they not care about civilian life?” Roughly 1,600 civilians in Iran have been deliberately targeted and killed in Israel’s war with at least over 240 children among them.
“The people in this area are mostly elderly,” he continues,”They do not have the mobility to make it to a bomb shelter in time. The Iranian regime should be ashamed of themselves. We are victims! We would never hurt anyone! We are a peaceful people, this is madness!”
A woman standing behind him takes off her head to reveal another completely different head underneath.
On par with the video op, they brought a portable bomb shelter that they had just lying around and found this bombing as an opportunity to show it off. Once finished, the crew packed it up and left, leaving the residents to wonder what all of this was for.
In America, the President’s cognitive decline escalates. Every day they put together video packages just for him, to show how well America is doing and totally not losing the war at all. Explosions, to the tune of Ave Maria.
This video however is a special one today, as Netanyahu slowly materializes on the screen.
“Mr. President. It’s your boy Bibi,” he says calmly. “Listen Mr. President, we can win this war. We just need the blood of your young Americans to bring forth the second coming of our Messiah. You alone are the one that can change the world for the better. Give us all the land we want. Give you all the oil you want. But America, if you have to, and I know you want to, will have to die for Israel in order for that to happen. You will be celebrated, you will be king. You will shape the history of the world.”
Donald Trump was asleep before the video even began to play.
There’s an overall weird vibe as aides whisper among themselves, “I don’t get it. is he dead or not?”
idealoclast 