Kiss Kiss Bang Bang


It’s always interesting to recognize something as a phenomenon. Thousands of people come together as if a deity descended upon them in the form of cheese bread. Or rather the face on the cheese bread. For a time these people are believers in the most irrational thing. Their lives, for that moment, are a vacuum. That’s the feeling I got this weekend, as the eve of Grand Theft Auto V ( or ‘five’ as I like to call it) descended upon us mortals. It seems crazy. The release date was known for quite some time, yet the hype-train rolled through, only recently, like a raging buffalo.

That’s the best part though, spending the weekend reminiscing everything about a franchise that exists on it’s own. There’s been countless open world games since, perhaps even before GTA III. But no matter how many are out there, or possibly do it better, GTA exists on it’s own. There’s something to be said about that, because It is a franchise that has become bigger than you’d expect it to be. I always recall the driving being the worst part. The last game had even more questionable gameplay mechanics, but Rockstar makes their games their way, and that’s what sets them apart/stand alone.

That kind of fervour for the franchise, comes at a price it seems. Every time a GTA let alone ‘Rockstar game’ gets released, it’s as if Jesus has come to town and stuck his finger inside everyone’s consoles. A person would believe that Jesus is a perfect human being, because of what he’s done. What they’re not willing to understand is that Jesus is beyond perfect. He was a normal human, being used to be a lesson for your own humanity.

The idea of GTA V getting a score less than 10, is enough to test the limits of sanity for those praising the 5th coming. Each disc is a hand crafted marble painting, and it’s up to the reviewer to not let the customer know of even the slightest imperfection.

“Keep your opinions to yourself and review it properly.”

When I was awakened this morning by the violent waves of the internet, the 9 out of 10 by Carolyn Petit, Editor at Gamespot, became significant. This was a review about the game that binary children decided to be Ludicrous. Then it was it no longer about the game, but about her. Telling her that her review is wrong, idiotic, attacking her gender orientation. (This is happening in real time as I type this. the comments are FLOODING.)

There’s a rule about the internet that I often follow for myself, to deal with it’s constant nagging: “You will be a child until you can manage to prove to me otherwise.”

It’s a fun rule that I would encourage all to make use of, because it’s probably accurate. The age at which a person starts using the internet, they continue to behave that age. They may grow older, know more words, learn how to argue, but the childish behavior doesn’t cease. With Anonymity being it’s greatest pull, a user far into their 50s will be allowed to have as much childish gull as the rest of them, so as far as I’m concerned, my theory still stands.

It’s not as though this is the first time for this behavior, and it certainly won’t be the last. Over the years of people getting imperfect scores for their favourite games, They’ve wanted stand up for what they believe in, even if that might mean threatening the lives of others.  When they look forward to something at a high capacity, they seem to keep building up in their head how amazing it is. So when someone who has hands on experience with the product goes against the fictional experience the child has created, they will fight back.

Children usually whimper when something doesn’t go the way they want it to. The sad thing about these tantrums is that it never really seems to be about the words themselves, but rather the score. It’s kind of petty, but it’s only because they don’t have an adult understanding of the situation, so they deconstruct it down to a simple understanding, and try to pick a fight that way.

9 out of 10. That’s all it took for their world to crumble. That’s all it took to make a hate crime toward her gender orientation. They deny her credibility of being able to put words together, to form sentences and paragraphs, only because of a number.

I’m not one to go around pointing my finger claiming that video games cause violence or violent behavior. I am, however, going to let you know that this is a reason why you get flack. Nothing in life will ever be perfect. If Rockstar releases a game every 5 years, it’s because they want to get it right, but that will never make it the second coming. If you impale a critic like that, it has nothing to do with the score, or the words in the review, it’s because you are insecure. If you do that for every game you fall in love with, before you even play it, then maybe the problem is you.

Grand Theft Auto is Misogynistic, because that’s where a lot of it’s humour comes from. You can’t deny that, it’s just a fact about that game. But it’s a small detail of why somebody might have a problem with it. With that said, it did not prevent the game from being enjoyable. The idea that the gaming community is larger than the community wants it to be, is the sign of the times. As the audience gets larger, the ways that video games need to evolve become apparent. Carolyn’s review points out that Rockstar is allowed to broaden their horizon. She’s not condemning it for it’s sexism, because she understands that there’s a lot more to the game than that. It was simplified and given that number, because it should be that easy to understand.

If anything, the most Misogynistic thing isn’t what the review is pointing out, but the comments directed towards the review. If we all want the games industry/community to grow up, it’s gotta start somewhere.


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