Sometimes you can have a day where everything goes wrong. You could break your hand on a paper weight as you ruffle through work documents, which probably wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t get a paper-cut. Sometimes when you change the bottle of water on the cooler you accidentally spill a little and now it looks like you’ve wet your pants. It’s actually important to get the coolers that allow spill safe caps. If you have to take the cap off to put it on, accidents always happen.
Just yesterday this old lady gave me a can of chunky soup, which is a beautiful gesture from a woman that thinks I’m dying of hunger. When I put the groceries on the kitchen counter, the soup fell out of the bag and landed on my foot. Ow, right? Now I have a sore toe with blood build-up and broken dreams.
Sometimes you want to get a cool gift for a baby that isn’t going to remember you because they’ve just been born. Their minds are developing. Wouldn’t it be great to get them something so amazing, that they keep hearing about this uncle they never see that just hands out awesome gifts? Then years later, you visit family again and the baby has learned how to walk and talk. When you go to introduce yourself, “Hello Mr./Ms. Baby, I’m your uncle.” They will just say “OH.”
That baby has judged you right then and there, and you can believe you bought a plane ticket to be baby judged!
Life always has a funny way of working out though, and no matter how many babies are out there judging you, or how ever many times you’re stuck at work doing things that get you so bored with life. Just remember you can always sneak in a youtube video behind the walls of your cubicle, and imagine yourself turning into a werewolf.