Cat Crimes – ED03

ed03

Cat sticker on a window at Sperling. Cats are such a commodity these days.

Internet cats are their own breed it seems. When an internet and a person’s video camera love each other very much, they look toward their kitty friend to fill the void of happiness in their life… and live vicariously through the popularity of their little balls of fur.

“This is so mind blowing, I didn’t think anything like this would happen,” said after the 12th attempt at a youtube video. “My cat is so great! Thanks for making me feel rich, cat.”

Yes, thanks cat. Because beyond the  horizon, you’re not my pet, but my net-worth. My pet-worth.

The next day, a swat team busts down an apartment door. Cats and cameras every which way. A man hunched over his laptop clicking refresh. Many different accounts, all with the same purpose, mining the human ability to detect cute.

As the man gets ducked into a squad car, and the cats are gathered to find better homes, an officer is reached for a simple statement:

“It’s a shame bitcoins never quite took off.”

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