ED 16 – directionless

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How do you know when you don’t want take the path that you’re currently on? When you finally choose that path at the fork in the road, do you get that itch it’s not the right one?

And then from that point, do you keep walking down it or do you turn around and try the other one? 

Indecisiveness is a common theme in this modern day. It happens too much and we’re all guilty of it wether it’s in small or large doses. Sometimes we pick up on it early and keep changing till we find the right fit, others go years before they realize the road they’re on is never what they wanted in the first place.

I’ve always been a fan of drawing and cartoons for as long as I could remember. Because of this I’ve always been told that animation is the best fit for me. Out of every aspect of interest I’ve ever had, animation was the only thing I’ve felt like I was being told to pursue.

One summer during a terrible moment in my life, I finally took the step in going to animation school. I couldn’t tell you if it was actually my decision to make, but I pursued it anyway. When raised to put others ahead of myself, I occasionally felt like I still have to make those kinds of decisions.

At the time I didn’t realize that it was the wrong choice, but I had to keep telling myself that it was what I wanted. Months would go by and I would still pursue it, kind of oblivious to any other suggestion around me.

Even when things somehow started getting worse.

So when you’re walking down the path, do you keep going forward or do you backtrack and try the other road?

I kept going, I wanted to see it through. I wanted to at least make it to animation school to see if it really was the right decision to make.

Hilariously to my surprise it wasn’t. Actually, I shouldn’t use the word surprise, because I honestly saw it coming. If all the branches were slapping me in the face as clear warning signs that it wasn’t the right road, then it’s clearly my fault that I’m having a panic attack and calling up a friend in a completely irrational mind set.

So I’d run as fast as I could to the fork in the road, trying to remember what the other path looked like so I could be ready to make all the right decisions I need to make for myself.

But, when I finally get back it’s not the same. In a sense, it’s a little too late for me to walk down the right path and expect everything to be fine. The only thing I can hope for it to catch up to what I’ve wanted in life, and never lead myself astray again.

I think the point of this is you really have to trust within yourself what you want, and not let anyone else tell you what you need to do with your life.

Otherwise you’ll be chasing a road with no real destination in sight.

I was never good at animation anyway.

 

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